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Thread: Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

  1. #21
    I'm not an alien! zyzyphus's Avatar
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    Saw this for 4 bucks. I don't know why, but I don't hate this franchise as much as most everyone else I know, except the 2nd one. I hate that one but I don't know why I give the other movies a pass. I can't and won't defend them, because they aren't good. I mean, aside from the fact that I'd prefer more boxy designs closer to the cartoons, I'm actually kind of a sucker for the effects in these movies. It feels different than the other 9/11 porn to me. The climax felt like the climax to Avatar, another bad movie I give a pass because of the effects. Yes I'm part of the problem.


    That being said, Bumblebee is the most bullshit-ass mother fucking bullshit character because of his mascot status. In the beginning scene, he gets decapitated and torn limb from limb. Oh no! Bumblebee is dead! Oh wait no, he's just pulling himself back together magnetically and kicks everyone's ass. That's a neat trick transfomees can do! But how come no other transformer does this? Seems like a useful perk of being a robot and something any one of them could benefit from. Jazz is killed in the first movie and he was only cut in half from the waist, that seems way less traumatic than what happened to bumblebee, and I'm sure others were killed in less horrific ways. In this movie a deception gets one leg cut off and decapitated and dies instantly.

    Also, they retconned him being on earth way before the first movie fighting Nazis. I guess this is preparing for his spinoff movie.

    Plus the subplot of him trying to get his voice back? I remember hem getting it back at the end of the first then immediately forgetting about it for the second and not caring for 2 more movies. All this so they could have a "Martha" moment where Prime is about to kill him, but then he says something like "it's me, bumblebee! I would die for you"[/gay] so Prime immediately snaps out of being evil.

    They didn't skimp out on the transformations like the last one though. My only complaint about it is that some of the robots had cool ideas for their vehicles and we didn't get to see transform. Like before he bacame a sports car, Hotrod was this classy classic British car. But they didn't show him transform until he was a sport car. The main one I wanted to see more of was one of the deceptions that was a rusted out VW bus. We did see bumblebee as a 1940s hitler-mobile looking car, so that was kinda neat.

    Mark Whalberg is far less annoying and way more tolerable than Shia. There's a tiny hint of The Happening(2008) in his performance, I think. I thought it was ok, but don't go see it.

    4.023/10

  2. #22
    Throbbing Member Wilhelm's Avatar
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    partoftheproblem
    partoftheproblem
    partoftheproblem
    partoftheproblem
    partoftheproblem
    partoftheproblem
    partoftheproblem
    |\___/|
    | " " |
    ,===__/( \ / )\__===,
    / """ (") """ \
    / " \
    | \_____= =_____/ |
    ,==._/ /\ /^\ /\ \_.==,
    | _ __/" \ |] [| / "\__ _ |

  3. #23
    I'm not an alien! zyzyphus's Avatar
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    #noshame

  4. #24
    Crying Unicorn equint77's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zyzyphus View Post
    Saw this for 4 bucks. I don't know why, but I don't hate this franchise as much as most everyone else I know, except the 2nd one. I hate that one but I don't know why I give the other movies a pass. I can't and won't defend them, because they aren't good. I mean, aside from the fact that I'd prefer more boxy designs closer to the cartoons, I'm actually kind of a sucker for the effects in these movies. It feels different than the other 9/11 porn to me. The climax felt like the climax to Avatar, another bad movie I give a pass because of the effects. Yes I'm part of the problem.


    That being said, Bumblebee is the most bullshit-ass mother fucking bullshit character because of his mascot status. In the beginning scene, he gets decapitated and torn limb from limb. Oh no! Bumblebee is dead! Oh wait no, he's just pulling himself back together magnetically and kicks everyone's ass. That's a neat trick transfomees can do! But how come no other transformer does this? Seems like a useful perk of being a robot and something any one of them could benefit from. Jazz is killed in the first movie and he was only cut in half from the waist, that seems way less traumatic than what happened to bumblebee, and I'm sure others were killed in less horrific ways. In this movie a deception gets one leg cut off and decapitated and dies instantly.

    Also, they retconned him being on earth way before the first movie fighting Nazis. I guess this is preparing for his spinoff movie.

    Plus the subplot of him trying to get his voice back? I remember hem getting it back at the end of the first then immediately forgetting about it for the second and not caring for 2 more movies. All this so they could have a "Martha" moment where Prime is about to kill him, but then he says something like "it's me, bumblebee! I would die for you"[/gay] so Prime immediately snaps out of being evil.

    They didn't skimp out on the transformations like the last one though. My only complaint about it is that some of the robots had cool ideas for their vehicles and we didn't get to see transform. Like before he bacame a sports car, Hotrod was this classy classic British car. But they didn't show him transform until he was a sport car. The main one I wanted to see more of was one of the deceptions that was a rusted out VW bus. We did see bumblebee as a 1940s hitler-mobile looking car, so that was kinda neat.

    Mark Whalberg is far less annoying and way more tolerable than Shia. There's a tiny hint of The Happening(2008) in his performance, I think. I thought it was ok, but don't go see it.

    4.023/10

    This is one of the best and funniest posts ive read in a long time

    Feeling like Katrina with no fema
    Like Martin with no Gina
    Like a flight with no visa
    First class with the seat back I still see ya
    In my past, you on the other side of the glass
    Of my memory's museum

  5. #25
    I'm not an alien! zyzyphus's Avatar
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    Transformees

    hem

    I should proofread more.

  6. #26
    Crying Unicorn equint77's Avatar
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    Its perfect the way it is.

    Feeling like Katrina with no fema
    Like Martin with no Gina
    Like a flight with no visa
    First class with the seat back I still see ya
    In my past, you on the other side of the glass
    Of my memory's museum

  7. #27
    Throbbing Member Wilhelm's Avatar
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    Transformies is a cute name though.

    |\___/|
    | " " |
    ,===__/( \ / )\__===,
    / """ (") """ \
    / " \
    | \_____= =_____/ |
    ,==._/ /\ /^\ /\ \_.==,
    | _ __/" \ |] [| / "\__ _ |

  8. #28
    Crying Unicorn equint77's Avatar
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    in all of bays 9/11 porn fetish and underage sex jokes he dropped the ball on not introducing this gimp, chip chase to the franchise. Itd have been great seeing him wheelchair away from the unnecessary planetary destruction.

    Feeling like Katrina with no fema
    Like Martin with no Gina
    Like a flight with no visa
    First class with the seat back I still see ya
    In my past, you on the other side of the glass
    Of my memory's museum

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